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The DressOver the years, people have gone to truly extraordinary lengths in pursuit of fashion. A catalog of peculiar gowns would fill several volumes, even without getting into bizarre hats, wigs, gloves, codpieces, shoes, eyeglasses, and all manner of other demented accessories, and I will not so tax the reader except to mention a few highlights.

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Submitted: September 18, 2006
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Blackbeard's Rugged Tamponsby `ursulav

Digital Art / Drawings & Paintings / Pop Art

Mature Content

I am female.

I am not girly. I am desperately ungirly. I look good in pink, but I feel guilty about it. For various reasons*, I would sooner belly-crawl through broken glass than buy anything marketed "for girls!" or "for women!" And I resent the fact that feminine products have me, as it were, by the short hairs in this regard.

And so, a year or so ago, I decided that I wanted a new brand of tampon. Something that was not girly, that was not pastel, that did not have flowers, and which did not make my ovaries curl up and die of shame. I do not mind having a period--I'd rather not, but eh, goes with the territory--but I detest the marketing.

It's time for a rugged new brand. A brand no one will ever call "girly." A brand you can take to the checkout counter and meet the clerk's eye while you buy it, and if they say a word, you have 'em tied to the mast and flogged.

Blackbeard the Pirate's Rugged Tampons. A product you can trust, from a name you can't!
-----------------------------

You can buy prints of this for $10 and $20, plus shipping. You almost certainly won't, I realize, unless you have a penchant for bathroom decor that sends your houseguests out of the room looking slightly green, but on the off chance that you are that strange person, you can send me a note or visit [link] to order!

(Yes, yes, booty jokes, I know...)

*The fact I wasn't allowed to have a Skeletor action figure as a child being chief among them...

~Raqonteur May 13, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Hahaha.
Brilliant.
I was gonna say tongue-in-cheek... but given the subject matter I'd probably better not

~LaYeobright Apr 4, 2013

"Blackbeard's Rugged Tamp- wait, what?? *clicky* .....*SNORT* AHAHAHAHA!" If I were ever to buy tampons, it'd have to be these! xD

~MissSparkle1 Mar 6, 2013

lol, I just took my brother's action men when I wanted to play with them. Advantage of having a brother that doesn't mind you doing so, meaning I didn't need to ask for 'boy' toys. I'd just ask for the 'girl' ones and then mix them with his. much more fun, lol. Not that I was very girly, I loved outside games and building dens, going on adventures ect.

Heh, I can't help but feel that if this product was real, there would be a lot of boys accidently picking it up before realised what it was. Some might not even look at it properly until they got a funny look at the till. Although it would make it easier for guys ordered by their girlfriends/sisters, ect to pick up tampons.

~BlackShadow6202 Jan 16, 2013 Student

I'd go without the period, or at least the cramps if it was up to me. OnO And I never did understand why they always have frilly, fu-fu, girly marketing for femanine things like tampons and pads. What's so pretty about one's period? I'm an emotional MESS during that time. Not to mention constantly tired...