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St. Ungo the Well-Endowed by ursulav St. Ungo the Well-Endowed by ursulav
St. Ungo the Well-Endowed is possibly unique in the history of hagiography, in that he was beatified based on the testimony of eighty-six different women,* who all claimed that yes, definitely, miraculous, hoo boy, you have NO idea, seriously, without ever saying exactly what the miracle in question had been.

This has baffled researchers for centuries.

Today St. Ungo is the patron of single women and, apparently demonstrating the cryptic and arbitrary nature of sainthood, bratwurst.

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*cough* Could NOT resist. (Hey, just 'cos they're saints doesn't mean I can't have a little fun with 'em...) St. Ungo here is based on the Cape Ground Squirrel, a species with...um...endowments that can reach up to 42% of their total body length. (Say it with me, people! "Daaaaamn....")

6 x 9ish, original is for sale, prints available for $10 plus shipping. All four saints--Ungo, Mellivora, Wombus, and Barnaby--are available as a set for $28 plus shipping. Send a note or visit [link] for details!




*Ranging in age from eighteen to sixty-three, and including two nuns and a duchess. St. Ungo apparently believed in a wide-ranging ministry.
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:iconluckysweep:
Luckysweep Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013
I do NOT want to know.
Reply
:iconshizukaxxxsecret:
ShizukaxxxSecret Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist
yep
Reply
:iconkallios:
Kallios Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013
Yeah, I'm saying it with you: "DAAAAAAAMNN!"

I have lol-ed so hard, I think I've filled my quota of laughter for the next two weeks :D
Reply
:iconnodotsplz:
NoDotsPlz Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Student General Artist
Haha! This is great.
Reply
:iconaiatalay:
Aiatalay Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
THIS IS THE PART WHERE I GIGGLE INSANELY.
Reply
:icontaren14:
Taren14 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2010
...Wow.
Reply
:iconsparkpenguin:
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
HAH! cryptic and arbitrary. hahah!

such clever wording, i really enjoyed this image and the read.
Reply
:iconaubri:
Aubri Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2010
Do I really have to be the one to point out that, in order to be beatified, the miracles have to occur after the saint's death? >_<;
I mean, come on! I'm Protestant, for pete's sake!
Reply
:icononeluckyduck:
oneluckyduck Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
Isn't it the miracles happen when they're still alive, they are just dubbed saints after their death?
I mean, how do miracles happen when they're dead?
Unless you wacky Protestants have zombie saints?


(I kid at the last one, I kid!)
Reply
:iconaubri:
Aubri Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011
In order to be beatified, the church (supposedly) needs proof that the person in question went straight to heaven without stopping at purgatory, meaning he was deemed without sin. The only way to prove that is for said spirit to appear to someone and perform a holy miracle. I believe the requirement is 2 attested miracles.

In practice, the standards are pretty loose and it functions as a sort of posthumous Nobel Peace Prize.
Reply
:iconwindscar8:
WindScar8 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2010  Professional Artisan Crafter
Ok, this made me laugh, but what about us wolves? We need a saint and preferably a funny one cause wolves have a bad habit of taking themselves too seriously,
Reply
:icondraconis-wyrm:
Draconis-Wyrm Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2010   Writer
What about ducks?
Reply
:iconaeslynn676:
Aeslynn676 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2009
"I served the lord and I was BLESSED. If you join me in 'confession', you can be 'blessed' too!"

That is such a televangelist grin if I ever seen one!
Reply
:icondcleadboot:
DCLeadboot Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Heh, heh... is this an innuendo? :giggle: I love that cute little grin of his, though!
Reply
:iconspiderwebwings:
Spiderwebwings Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2009
I LOLd :P
Reply
:iconqwazar:
qwazar Featured By Owner May 28, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
love his smile :)
Reply
:iconsymbi0sis:
Symbi0sis Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2009
*giggles* I like him.
Reply
:iconperidothorntail:
PeridotHorntail Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2009
*snickers* A squirrel, no less. Awesome.
Reply
:iconrevolos55:
Revolos55 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2009
*snort* Man, I almost sprayed my monitor with Pepsi. Hehehe.
Reply
:iconknightraptor:
Knightraptor Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2008
There is something about his cheesy smile, round belly, and obvious arrow that makes me have a giggle fit when i see him x3
Reply
:iconvampirepumpkin:
VampirePumpkin Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008   General Artist
Ever heard of the Argentine Lake Duck? Their... um... is 42.5cm long. Yeah.
Reply
:iconganjabags:
GanjaBags Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2008
What a grin.
Reply
:iconziblink:
Ziblink Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Argentinian ducks have endowments that can be thrice their body length. Aaah nature!

Love this.
Reply
:iconkieranfoy:
Kieranfoy Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2008
He looks a bit too cheerful to be a saint- oh, wait, eighty-six women... yeah, he's got reason enough to be cheerful.
Reply
:iconjamespierce:
JamesPierce Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2008
This has so much win in it I don't even know where to begin...
Reply
:iconlordofthebling-xxl:
LordoftheBling-XXL Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2008
Hahaha!!! This is great!
Reply
:iconfelldew:
Felldew Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2008
how appropriate--it's an otter too. :D
Reply
:icontoshers-girl:
toshers-girl Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2008
Damn! That's hilarious.
Reply
:iconapeman505:
apeman505 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2008
Well, frig. 42% beats mine....
Reply
:iconcrooked-straightline:
crooked-straightline Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2008
LOL Awesomely funny!
Reply
:icontouch-not-this-cat:
Touch-Not-This-Cat Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2008
My concience would not let me put this in the saints group, but I just had to have it, so into the humor only section! I ought to know better having had a personal conversation with Padre Peter Straub yesterday...
Reply
:iconmystakaphoros:
Mystakaphoros Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Hahaha, the character makes me think of Juan Ruiz, author of the medieval "The Book of Good Love." Written in the 1300s, there's a whole chapter on the archbishop's many affairs.
Reply
:iconmerlintheferret:
MerlinTheFerret Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2008
I would SO turn religious just so i could belong to 'The Church of St. Ungo the Well-Endowed'. Because thats really funny.

Also. BRATWURST! ROFL! :lmao:
Reply
:icongryphontamer:
gryphontamer Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2008
"the patron of single women and, apparently demonstrating the cryptic and arbitrary nature of sainthood, bratwurst."

Bratwurst? BRATWURST?!?

THIS is why I read your art diary, Ursula. I need to laugh this hard at least once a week. Thank you. *dies laughing*
Reply
:iconcarnivalchild:
CarnivalChild Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2008
Best. Saint. Ever.
Also, I said daaaammn before reading the parenthesis. Then I played the twilight zone theme music in my head.
Reply
:iconemperornortonii:
EmperorNortonII Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2008  Professional Traditional Artist
He doesn't seem to saintly to me!
Reply
:iconliolli:
liolli Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2008
so that's what this monk is covering under his long robes....
Reply
:iconferacoyote:
FeraCoyote Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's gonna be a bright, bright, briiight, Sunshiny day!
Reply
:iconarcticphoenixstudios:
arcticphoenixstudios Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2008  Professional General Artist
*lol* Speaking of well endowed creatures...do you perhaps know of Tanuki? Both the real animal and the creature of Japanese mythology. Apparently there's an animated movie about a tanuki clan. They have magical balls that they can transform into various things....like bridges! :D I have yet to find this movie. Heard about it years ago from an acquaintance who'd seen it.
Reply
:iconazymyth:
Azymyth Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh god! The expression is priceless. XD
Reply
:iconvisdviking:
visdviking Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2008
His smugness alone cracks me up. :D
Reply
:icondodoman1:
dodoman1 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I just noticed the arrow on his little robe pointing down and I started laughing hysterically.
I also love his expression.
Reply
:iconinkspider:
Inkspider Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2008
I love it.
I was just dying to meet St Ungo.
Reply
:iconmoon-blossom:
moon-blossom Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hahahahahahaha XD
Reply
:iconfrogpianist90:
frogpianist90 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hahahaha
Reply
:iconloralye:
loralye Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2008  Professional General Artist
I can't remember her name but there was a woman sainted simply because she was born with three breasts.

Obviously she's been removed from the official saints roster, or whatever it is they're calling it these days, but she was officially a saint at one point.
Reply
:iconlesumai:
lesumai Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
There was also a woman sainted because her breasts were cut off. She was the saint of bells (or something related) because in depictions of her, she is seen carrying her disembodied breasts on a platter, and people thought they looked like bells.
Sainthood is nasty, isn't it?
Reply
:iconloralye:
loralye Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2008  Professional General Artist
Oh, yeah. ::shudders:: I almost forgot about her.

Also, love the quote. Not Python but "the Inquisiiiiiition! What a show!". ;)
Reply
:iconanimegirlfroggy:
animegirlfroggy Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
This made me laugh so much!
Reply
:iconwaywardwillothewisp:
waywardwillothewisp Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2008
I'm currently trying to convince my fiancee' that we should hang a print of this above the bed. I think he's saying no because he's so jealous.
Reply
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