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June 7, 2008
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St. Ungo the Well-Endowed by ursulav St. Ungo the Well-Endowed by ursulav
St. Ungo the Well-Endowed is possibly unique in the history of hagiography, in that he was beatified based on the testimony of eighty-six different women,* who all claimed that yes, definitely, miraculous, hoo boy, you have NO idea, seriously, without ever saying exactly what the miracle in question had been.

This has baffled researchers for centuries.

Today St. Ungo is the patron of single women and, apparently demonstrating the cryptic and arbitrary nature of sainthood, bratwurst.

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*cough* Could NOT resist. (Hey, just 'cos they're saints doesn't mean I can't have a little fun with 'em...) St. Ungo here is based on the Cape Ground Squirrel, a species with...um...endowments that can reach up to 42% of their total body length. (Say it with me, people! "Daaaaamn....")

6 x 9ish, original is for sale, prints available for $10 plus shipping. All four saints--Ungo, Mellivora, Wombus, and Barnaby--are available as a set for $28 plus shipping. Send a note or visit [link] for details!




*Ranging in age from eighteen to sixty-three, and including two nuns and a duchess. St. Ungo apparently believed in a wide-ranging ministry.
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:iconluckysweep:
I do NOT want to know.
Reply
:iconkallios:
Yeah, I'm saying it with you: "DAAAAAAAMNN!"

I have lol-ed so hard, I think I've filled my quota of laughter for the next two weeks :D
Reply
:iconnodotsplz:
NoDotsPlz May 18, 2011  Student General Artist
Haha! This is great.
Reply
:iconaiatalay:
Aiatalay Mar 4, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
THIS IS THE PART WHERE I GIGGLE INSANELY.
Reply
:iconsparkpenguin:
sparkpenguin Sep 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
HAH! cryptic and arbitrary. hahah!

such clever wording, i really enjoyed this image and the read.
Reply
:iconaubri:
Do I really have to be the one to point out that, in order to be beatified, the miracles have to occur after the saint's death? >_<;
I mean, come on! I'm Protestant, for pete's sake!
Reply
:icononeluckyduck:
Isn't it the miracles happen when they're still alive, they are just dubbed saints after their death?
I mean, how do miracles happen when they're dead?
Unless you wacky Protestants have zombie saints?


(I kid at the last one, I kid!)
Reply
:iconaubri:
In order to be beatified, the church (supposedly) needs proof that the person in question went straight to heaven without stopping at purgatory, meaning he was deemed without sin. The only way to prove that is for said spirit to appear to someone and perform a holy miracle. I believe the requirement is 2 attested miracles.

In practice, the standards are pretty loose and it functions as a sort of posthumous Nobel Peace Prize.
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