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June 7, 2008
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St. Ungo the Well-Endowed by ursulav St. Ungo the Well-Endowed by ursulav
St. Ungo the Well-Endowed is possibly unique in the history of hagiography, in that he was beatified based on the testimony of eighty-six different women,* who all claimed that yes, definitely, miraculous, hoo boy, you have NO idea, seriously, without ever saying exactly what the miracle in question had been.

This has baffled researchers for centuries.

Today St. Ungo is the patron of single women and, apparently demonstrating the cryptic and arbitrary nature of sainthood, bratwurst.

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*cough* Could NOT resist. (Hey, just 'cos they're saints doesn't mean I can't have a little fun with 'em...) St. Ungo here is based on the Cape Ground Squirrel, a species with...um...endowments that can reach up to 42% of their total body length. (Say it with me, people! "Daaaaamn....")

6 x 9ish, original is for sale, prints available for $10 plus shipping. All four saints--Ungo, Mellivora, Wombus, and Barnaby--are available as a set for $28 plus shipping. Send a note or visit [link] for details!




*Ranging in age from eighteen to sixty-three, and including two nuns and a duchess. St. Ungo apparently believed in a wide-ranging ministry.
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:iconluckysweep:
Luckysweep Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013
I do NOT want to know.
Reply
:iconshizukaxxxsecret:
ShizukaxxxSecret Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist
yep
Reply
:iconkallios:
Kallios Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013
Yeah, I'm saying it with you: "DAAAAAAAMNN!"

I have lol-ed so hard, I think I've filled my quota of laughter for the next two weeks :D
Reply
:iconnodotsplz:
NoDotsPlz Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Student General Artist
Haha! This is great.
Reply
:iconaiatalay:
Aiatalay Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
THIS IS THE PART WHERE I GIGGLE INSANELY.
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:icontaren14:
Taren14 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2010
...Wow.
Reply
:iconsparkpenguin:
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
HAH! cryptic and arbitrary. hahah!

such clever wording, i really enjoyed this image and the read.
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:iconaubri:
Aubri Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2010
Do I really have to be the one to point out that, in order to be beatified, the miracles have to occur after the saint's death? >_<;
I mean, come on! I'm Protestant, for pete's sake!
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:icononeluckyduck:
oneluckyduck Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
Isn't it the miracles happen when they're still alive, they are just dubbed saints after their death?
I mean, how do miracles happen when they're dead?
Unless you wacky Protestants have zombie saints?


(I kid at the last one, I kid!)
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:iconaubri:
Aubri Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011
In order to be beatified, the church (supposedly) needs proof that the person in question went straight to heaven without stopping at purgatory, meaning he was deemed without sin. The only way to prove that is for said spirit to appear to someone and perform a holy miracle. I believe the requirement is 2 attested miracles.

In practice, the standards are pretty loose and it functions as a sort of posthumous Nobel Peace Prize.
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