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Elf vs. Orc 8Celadon woke up in the elf's arms.

This sounded a lot more romantic than it actually was.

For one thing, learning to sleep in proximity to another person is an acquired skill. You learn what to do with the arm that always seems to get stuck between you and where to put your feet and whether they mind having a leg draped over theirs and who can use whose arm as a pillow without nerve damage or a sore neck. Then there's the whole complex negotiation of blanket treaties and sheets and who gets what and who needs layers and who has to stick their feet out.

Without acquiring these vital habits, you wake up pretty much like Celadon—stiff, sore,

Elf vs. Orc 7This was easier said than done.

She gave him some very practical suggestions about how to tie the ropes. A bit of slack between the feet, enough to shuffle, not enough to run. A rope around the neck as a kind of leash in case she attacked him. He could tell she'd done this sort of thing before.

Sings-to-Trees, at that point, would have been happy just untying her completely and pointing her in the direction of the outhouse, but he had a horrible feeling he'd disappoint her if he didn't at least try to hold up his end. So he steeled himself to stay awake a bit longer and got the ropes set up, and hauled her out of the bed.

Then she wound up

Elf vs. Orc 6He got a nasty start a few hours later, when he came in to check on her.

He'd tied her hands, her feet, thrown a loop or two around her waist, and roped everything to the bed, the chair, and the fire iron, just for good measure, He'd done everything short of hog-tying. She wasn't going to get loose in a hurry.

He wasn't sure why he was bothering, really, since he had a horrible feeling that if she said "Will you untie me?" he might do it, and if she said "please," he'd definitely do it.

Still, she didn't seem to be a threat conscious, so maybe that was okay.

Then, because his feelings were still churning and there was nothing for emotiona

Elf vs. Orc 5Sings-to-Trees's primary thought through the whole violent encounter was Not the throat again!

His neck hurt. He felt like a troll had used his esophagus as a dance floor. This could not be healthy. If he lived through this, he swore he would be nice to his throat for the rest of the year. Hot teas. Scarfs during winter. Anything.

For awhile, he didn't think he was going to live to see sunrise, let alone winter.

Then she'd apologized. The orc had stood there, with a distinctly sheepish expression on her face, and she'd apologized.

None of his patients ever apologized. Most of them couldn't talk, and it didn't seem to occur to the ones who

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Submitted: September 2, 2010
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Stop Suckingby `ursulav

Traditional Art / Collage

©2010-2013 `ursulav

I believe most artists have felt this way at some point. The sad thing is, throwing more art supplies at it works JUST OFTEN ENOUGH to keep hope alive. ("I haven't tried egg tempera yet! Or dried macaroni!")

6 x 9, and in the interests of living up to the theme, this includes digital, cut paper, acrylic, ink, colored pencil, pen, metallic pigment, mica, stamping, stenciling, and acrylic matte medium.

Original is for sale, prints available at Red Wombat Studio: [link]

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~afailedwriter Feb 9, 2012

The truest art I've ever seen

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!tritops1 May 31, 2011

This is pretty much my life right here.

*throws pencil* BE PRETTY.

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~TNHawke Apr 9, 2011

This is awesome. Pure awesome.

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~Aglassman Mar 10, 2011 Student General Artist

This is so horribly true.

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Mood: Joy

~cmicenko Feb 13, 2011

LOL SO TRUE EPIC MAN

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Mood: Approval

~Rocker-Hoz Feb 13, 2011 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

The great thing about collageing is that you can always add one more thing.

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~diana1sbq Dec 9, 2010

!!!

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~Shahrezad1 Nov 26, 2010 Student Traditional Artist

This is pretty much hilarious. Disturbingly accurate, but hilarious.

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`Mollinda Nov 9, 2010 Traditional Artist

Your awesome artwork has been featured here [link]

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~SketchDalmatian Nov 1, 2010

*laughs* Too funny! XD

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