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The Old Battleaxe by ursulav The Old Battleaxe by ursulav
Ruby Elfgutter was a famous orcish beauty in her youth, and one of the great heroes of the Battle of Brazenskull, where she killed many of the enemy and bit a knight's hand off, gauntlet and all.* She eventually retired and became the beloved Grandma Ruby to generations of orc children. She always has room on the fridge for a work of crayon art, ** will listen for hours to childish babble, and bakes a mean tadpole crunch cookie.

But when bad stuff goes down and you get those bastard elves sniffing around the borders, Grandma Ruby'll pull the battleaxe down off the wall, plant herself in the mouth of the cave, and heaven help anybody who tries to get to HER grandkids...
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Dude, I so wanna be her when I'm old. You rarely see orc women in fantasy, but damnit, orcs have grandmothers too!

Possibly, I'm just really easily amused.

Digital, Painter 7, and while I can't imagine people will respond to an elderly orc with the same enthusiasm as a demonbunny, I'm offering LE jumbo prints, 13 x 19 for $45, as well as the standard size for $10. Drop a note, send an e-mail, makes a great gift for Grandma! (Assuming Grandma has a sense of humor...)


*The hand was mounted on a plaque and hangs in Ruby's kitchen to this day, where she drapes dishtowels on it.

**Being orcs, the art usually consists of such masterpieces as "MoM wIth A sEverD Hed" or "mE aNd SpOt smoOshiNg faIriEs," themes visited and revisited by generations and usually involving a lot of red crayon.
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:iconoldbattleaxe:
oldbattleaxe Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2017
I'm an old granny and love gaming. I go by old battleaxe. This image would be perfect to use as my avatar. Is that ok?
Reply
:icontorbk:
Torbk Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2015
Orcs don't get to grow that old unless they know how to wield their weapons, and she looks mighty old. Makes me wonder exactly how good she is with that axe?
Reply
:iconcoyotepack:
coyotepack Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh, some one is going to get wrecked!
Just look at the fury in those eyes!
Reply
:iconpeterhasabattleaxe:
PeterHasaBattleAxe Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2015
I bet you wish your axe was as cool as mine!
Raaaaaawr~ :3
Reply
:icontuima11:
Tuima11 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014
It's the pearls, man. And the little skull beads on her shawl…
I love your sense of humor forever. 
Reply
:iconthevelvettemplar:
TheVelvetTemplar Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Dat face.
Reply
:iconyishana8:
Yishana8 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013
I'd like to be her when I'm old, too! Love here glasses!
Reply
:iconrjalker:
Rjalker Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I'm not sure why but this is entirely fantastic. I would love for her to be my grandma :)
Reply
:iconforestdwellerhouses:
ForestDwellerHouses Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
I dated her years ago!
Reply
:iconancsamancs:
ancsamancs Featured By Owner May 31, 2011
wow
Reply
:iconiratheiv:
IRAtheIV Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2010
she looks like a pratchett character
Reply
:iconnevasirenda:
NevaSirenda Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010  Professional Artisan Crafter
I especially like the little fairy skull beads on the shawl... I need to get some of those for the Goth crochet vampire choker pattern I just came up with.
Reply
:icontrooper202:
trooper202 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010
Yeah great idea, very fun
Reply
:iconblackbeard9:
Blackbeard9 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2010
Awesome, looks just like my mother-in-law. Rich
Reply
:iconchaoswolf1982:
chaoswolf1982 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
man, how could you NOT love this?
Reply
:iconbigeyeddragyn:
bigeyeddragyn Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
What a lovable orc grandma! I love this picture as well as the story that goes along with it. Her mouth is my favorite part as well as the other awesome facial features and the details of her arm. This character is just too awesome!
Reply
:iconahyicodae:
Ahyicodae Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2008
OMG, this is made of so much win! XD Awesome! I :heart: it! Perfect picture and perfect description.
Reply
:icondraco-datura:
draco-datura Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2007
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
I love her! I love your idea! A love your comment!I love the picture!
Great! :nod:
Reply
:iconpixity-mish:
pixity-mish Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
This is awesome :D Makes me kind of wish she was a playable character on World of Warcraft :3
Reply
:iconglyphbellchime:
GlyphBellchime Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Title Appropriate! Really well done and cool to look at. I may buy a print after my allowance gets in... I love it.


You piss this gal off, you lose body parts!
Reply
:icondormant374:
dormant374 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2006
I think I know her. She rules.
Reply
:iconbortbyting:
Bortbyting Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
Think it's all been said before.. so... Just love it and keep up the great work! Love your sense of humor!
Reply
:iconapeman505:
apeman505 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Heeheehee, your stuff is so cool! I love reading all your notes on each piece, you have a great sense of humor. :)
Reply
:iconmikeerty:
MikeErty Featured By Owner May 11, 2006  Professional Digital Artist
thats one repugnant orc lol, nice design.
Reply
:iconjonesyqrubiler:
JonesyQrubiler Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2006   Traditional Artist
i love this. your art is amazing!
Reply
:iconypnogatis:
ypnogatis Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2005  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is wonderfull..
love the story.. and the picture.. ;) :aww:
and all those details :D
Reply
:iconyi3artist:
yi3artist Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2005  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is brilliant and I am going against my "don't comment on pieces with over 100 already" rule to tell you I want this. Are you still offering the standard size for $10 ?
Reply
:iconursulav:
ursulav Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2005
I am indeed! 3.50 shipping in the US, send a note, it's all yours!
Reply
:iconyensil:
Yensil Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2005
That axe is beautiful. O_O
*is a weapons collector*
:heart:
Reply
:iconscythelust:
ScytheLust Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
Ha haa, nice pun.
Reply
:iconthetenutso:
thetenutso Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2005
haha that is one ugly gal.
Reply
:iconreinder:
Reinder Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2005
Love it. See comment on my weblog.
Reply
:iconursulav:
ursulav Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2005
Ooh, blog! *grin* Thank you!
Reply
:iconccgriffin:
CCGriffin Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2005   Writer
Awesome, as usual. I love the little lizard/chameleon/thing. The perfect pet for a mean ol' orc out to defend the grandkids. And cute. And her skin! It's so ugly it's beautiful, like...I dunno. Walruses. Their grotesque beauty is more from the wrinkles though. Anyway, great work. Are there still Jumbo Prints available?
Reply
:iconursulav:
ursulav Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2005
Yup! We've got plenty left--for some unfathomable reason, elderly orc women aren't high on the list of things people want on their wall. *grin*
Reply
:iconccgriffin:
CCGriffin Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2005   Writer
Hah. My browser hates me. I thought it deleted that first comment. sorry.
Reply
:iconccgriffin:
CCGriffin Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2005   Writer
Awesome work, as usual. I love her skin. It's so ugly it's beautiful like...walruses. Only their appeal is more from the wrinkles, not discoloration...Sorry, I babble. Anyway, my favourite part is actually the lizard/chameleon. Tis cute
Reply
:iconraptor85:
Raptor85 Featured By Owner May 28, 2005  Hobbyist Digital Artist
AHHH!!!! I sooooo Love it!
Reply
:iconk-ti:
k-ti Featured By Owner May 19, 2005
jajaja good job :D
Reply
:iconmojaam:
mojaam Featured By Owner May 17, 2005
That expression is priceless. Great work as always!
Reply
:icondarkart42:
darkart42 Featured By Owner May 13, 2005
Right on! When I'm a cranky old lady, I want to be have bladed weapons handy, too! I love your work.
Reply
:iconnewromantic:
NewRomantic Featured By Owner May 12, 2005
ROFLOL!! Oh my goodness, the story of Grandma Ruby just *makes* this piece! What a hoot!:)

And 'Grandma' is wonderful! Even if she's not a "demonbunny"! LOL

Great job. What an imagination!:)

Stacey
Reply
:iconrainchild:
rainchild Featured By Owner May 11, 2005  Student
I like her... she sounds kinda like Nanny Ogg :D
Reply
:iconlibriangoober:
LibrianGoober Featured By Owner May 8, 2005
I knew it! My grandma IS a clone!:clone:
Reply
:iconcermaith:
cermaith Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2005   General Artist
This is great! I love all the details in this. I want her to be MY grandma! :+fav:
Reply
:iconcatievg:
CatieVG Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2005  Professional Digital Artist
my gramma looks like that....
<.< >.> lol
nice work
Reply
:iconpersimmon:
persimmon Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
hahahah...FAVE!!!! Way to shake up the stereotypes! Never liked them elves anyway <_<...this grandma orc so rocks...

Does she use elf entrails to knit booties for the grandkids with?
Reply
:iconlilithx13:
Lilithx13 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2005   Photographer
"I love grandkids". Beautiful piece as always. I quiete enjoy your work. Keep it up. :)
Reply
:iconnickyflamingo:
nickyflamingo Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
that's one awesome lizard hanging on!
That's gonna be my mom when she's older. The attitude anyways ^_^
Reply
:iconnickyflamingo:
nickyflamingo Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
that's one awesome lizard hanging on!
That's gonna be my mom when she's older. The attitude anyways ^_^
Reply
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April 12, 2005
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